Yoga Sutras 1.1

 I think the writing practice I'm about to embark on is going to assist in learning the sutras - especially sutra 1.1: And now the teaching on yoga begins...

Say what? This simple statement blew my mind today because it feels like God's voice or rather like God's hand slapping me across my foolish face. Why? because I've been on a bit of a hiatus from life. A pause. And while necessary and therapeutic, there is also an internal reluctance to give into the healing process. It's like I'm too busy waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop to actually rest and recover properly. My mind and body are in a state of constant fear and hypervigilance, so much so that anxiety renders me physically frozen yet mentally overexerted most days, desperately numbing in order to push away negative thoughts and emotions. This is as honest as I'm willing to go today in describing how dark and deep depression can feel, but one day soon, I hope to have the courage to do so. Today, I choose to focus on the lesson wrapped in this tough time. God is essentially saying, "shit or get off the pot". Like, either take time off work and truly indulge in rest, creativity, strength and conditioning, spirituality... like go all in.... or sit in bed every day and try to numb your way out of hell. There's a clear and obvious choice here, folks. "And now the teaching on yoga begins...", God says while gently laughing and smiling as he watches me figure it out, forever a happy Buddha who patiently waits for his student to master life's lessons.  

So my game plan (meaning the incredibly ambitious idea I have in my head but have yet to execute on any consistent basis) is to do some of the things I love, like dive wildly, madly, and deeply into things that pique my curiosity, challenge me in a healthy way, and ignite my creative fire. Finding time daily to do this simple yet radical thing IS YOGA. At least, it's what I pray yoga will do for me. So, as often as I can, I will write, not just in the blog, but in my various notebooks and journals. I will cultivate a practice, hone this innate craft into something I can be proud of. And.... in order to hold myself "semi-accountable", I will use this blog as a way to chronicle my personal growth. And the Sutras, Patanjali's epic text on the yogic path to bliss, will be my guide... stay tuned

Of course, I won't actually publish any of it just yet, but, hey, maybe someday ...